Tuesday, August 5, 2014

On Coping and Cheap Therapy

The thing about going through hard spots with people is you learn so much about them. Granted, it's not always things you wanted to know. You may come out respecting them just a tad less but that is entirely beside the point. The main thing is this: when you go through a struggle with someone you get to know and really understand who they are.

Through this unbelievably crazy year I have learned how my mom, father and older sister cope. With stress, anxiety, heartache. To balance, reorganize and find a sense of normality.

My mom. She writes. It's amazing. Sometimes within just minutes of hearing some unfortunate news my mom will be furiously writing. What is amazes me is how the things she writes during these frenzies are always the most heartfelt and beautiful pieces.

My older sister takes a different approach. Namely, pounding the piano within an inch of it's life. Just kidding. Really, she is a fantastic pianist and I love hearing her play. But when life is out of control you can bet the piano will be a bit louder, faster and more passionate.

Now my father can go one of two ways. Sometimes he will completely throw himself into a project (building a shed, planting a hedge, researching jogging strollers) that really has nothing to do with the situation at hand. But don't tell him that because he will completely zone in on that project and that project alone as imperative to the well being of those he loves. Alternatively, he will go in his office, put on his noise canceling headphones and sing (loudly) while he works. Note: I love him to death but singing is really not his strongest suite.

As for me, well, let's just say I do not have such wholesome habits. Turn my world upside down and I will spend money, usually on baby clothes, and eat ungodly amounts of chocolate.

Regardless our methods, the important thing is that we do cope. We know enough about ourselves to know what we need and what works for us. We accept that we've been knocked down, dealt a bad hand. We acknowledge that. We reorganize...with our music, our project, our writing and, yes, even our chocolate. But we don't stay there. We stand back up, pull a forgotten trick out of our sleeve, wow them all with our ability to still be standing. And then we go on.

It may leave me broke and with a few extra pounds but, hey, it's still cheaper than therapy.

How do you cope with the messy bits in life? Comment and let me know...I may need your suggestions if I ever decided to reform my habits. 


  1. I am not going to be a bit of help, since I also turn to shopping and chocolate and also decorating, but I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you all and praying for you without ceasing... hugs!

  2. Let me know if I need to call Sydney.

    Seeing you successfully "cope" has been a rock to me in all of this. Thank you for being there for all of us. Especially Henry.

    And I'm hiding my chocolate... :)

  3. Ever since I started reading your blog (who knows how many years ago), I have greatly admired your spunk, courage, and honesty. Remember that even when you're down, you have only been knocked deeper into the love and faithfulness of Jesus.

    One of my friends has a theory that chocolate is supposed to be at the bottom of the food pyramid, but that the photocopier of the original design was too small and that therefore it got chopped off. If that is the case, you are living a much healthier life than most of us. And have you ever had Rittersport chocolate? It is to die for.

  4. You sound like me. :) Shopping and chocolate help me cope, at least for a very short while. You all are on my heart every day. Praying for you!